by Johnnie S Laney
We start out in marriage so close and intimate. Then, over time, things can get more mechanical and stale between us. We start to drift apart and feel less loved and appreciated by our mate. Is this normal, and is there anything you can do about it if it is happening in your marriage?
Yes, it is normal in all long term relationships to experience relationship drift. It is normal for the passion to fade and for responsibilities and burdens to replace the love and pleasure you used to take in each other. It is normal, and it of course can be deadly to your marriage. The less you enjoy and play with each other, the greater the chance for divorce or an affair. What can you do?
One of the best, and thankfully, easiest cures is to begin to add back more PLAY into your marriage. Play is one of the top two keys to a great long term relationship. You used to play a lot in the beginning of your marriage. Then you got lost in the pressures of making a living and raising kids and stopped playing very much with each other. This always causes problems.
So one of the first, easiest things you can do to stop relationship drift is to bring back more play in your marriage. Set up date nights where you spend some quality time doing things you both enjoy together. You dont have to have more than one date night a week, but just one can make a big difference.
You have to make this time special with your mate. No complaining about work or the kids. Make your date a time to enjoy each other and focus on relaxing and having a good time together.
A second powerful way to reverse relationship drift is through sex. Sex can become someone stale and mechanical over time. You want to keep it fresh and passionate. You don’t have to try every position in the kama sutra or anything. Great sex is not about new positions, usually.
One easy method for better sex is to have sex when you aren’t both too tired at the end of the day. Make some time for sex when you both will have energy rather than be half asleep. Then simply take that energy and focus some of it on pleasing your mate. They’ll definitely notice and get more into pleasing you as well.
There’s more to stopping relationship drift, but these two steps are a great start. They both focus on playing more in your marriage on purpose. Your spouse is just like you, they want to feel appreciated and special and have fun with their partner. Test this out over the next week and see for yourself what happens.
